It wasn't bad, but it wasn't as good as I had prepared it to be. The presentation judge wasn't even paying attention. He stopped writing or watching me halfway through my presentation. Most of the room was on their phones, and I felt shattered. However, after the session, the experience turned around.

I jumped to the front, rushed through my presentation, as we were pressed for time, answered questions, and reveled in the academic community that had shown up for the colloquium.

Wow, what a journey it has been! As an undergraduate student at UC Irvine, I had a TON of ideas about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. None of them was historian. Instead, as an international studies major with just as many classes in Russian studies, I had a strong focus on current events, solving the world's problems, and making a difference. However, after graduation, I didn't have a lot of options, or the confidence to push myself to find that power. So, I took a more "normal" trajectory.