On presenting research…

PART TWO

If you haven't already checked out my post about my first 2 experiences presenting my research, you might want to check it out here.

To recap, I tried to present research unprepared as an undergrad, which left me with NO desire to present my research ever again. However, with the support and encouragement of my thesis advisor and classmates, I applied to present at Johns Hopkins' MLA Colloquium and the Association for Graduate Liberal Studies Programs' Annual Conference. I presented successfully at the MLA Colloquium, and I felt a surge of confidence going into the AGLSP conference. However, there were nearly 6 months in between. In those 6 months, I devoted countless hours to my master's thesis, which would inform my presentation at AGLSP.

Because I live in California, the trip to Washington, D.C. was significant use of my time off from work and money, so my now fiance and I turned it into a vacation. We flew in on a Thursday (arriving very late at night), and I had to present the next day. I had to make some final edits to my PowerPoint before going to bed that night, which was made even more difficult due to my California schedule, but eventually, my nerves wore off, and I got a good night of sleep. I woke up, took an Uber to the conference, and with, again, a massive case of imposter syndrome, took a seat with several university faculty members I didn't know for breakfast. I attended breakout sessions and took a deep breath before my own session began.

Unfortunately, the people I was scheduled to present with originally did not end up attending, which left my presentation tossed into a breakout panel entitled, "Common Ground and Common Good in Liberal Education." Here I am ready to present my research on Anne of Green Gables and the feminine utopia in literature compared to history...to a roomful of administrators. Needless to say, my work was not so passionately received. It had nothing to do with the reason people chose to attend this particular panel. To add fuel to that fire, it was the last session before lunch. The two people before me had gone over on time. So, with an audience whose stomachs were growling and whose interest was waning, I presented my exciting research to a group of people who could not have cared less about it...with one exception, Laura DeSisto, the program director for my MLA program at Johns Hopkins. Boy, was she a friendly face in that crowd. Ultimately, I did let my nerves get the better of me during my presentation, but she followed my entire presentation and asked me good questions at the end. If she hadn't have been there, I don't know just what I would have done. The entire time I was presenting, I was editing on the fly, trying to engage my audience, expecting them to have some familiarity with the subject, and finding few people there who cared. In the end, my presentation was okay. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't as good as I had prepared it to be. The presentation judge wasn't even paying attention. He stopped writing or watching me halfway through my presentation. Most of the room was on their phones, and I felt shattered. However, after the session, the experience turned around.

While speaking with the program director after my presentation, another woman who presented at the conference came by to thank her for her thoughtful questions in an earlier session. And, she was looking for someone to lunch with. I was available and jumped at the chance. This woman was a force. She had left a career in Wall Street philanthropic finance to pursue a doctorate in Liberal Studies. She had started a podcast that had become one of the most downloaded in Apple Podcasts. I had been toying with the idea of starting a podcast on women's history but didn't know if I would find an audience. She encouraged me, showed genuine interest in me and my work, and hers fascinated me as well. At the height of feeling unappreciated and a total failure (due to my uninterested crowd), I met a woman to admire, to look up to, and who encouraged me to pursue my idea because it had value. To me, this is the true value of academic conferences, the connections you make.

So, here I am one and a half years later, and I just presented a poster virtually at Liberty University's Research Week, winning first prize in my category. Now, I'm revising my presentation, and filling in some gaps identified through discussion to pursue publication and to do an oral presentation at the American Culture Association/Popular Culture Association in early June. So excited to continue on this path.

And, because I don’t give up that easily, I am also apply to present at the American Historical Association and a GIRES conference. Fingers crossed!